The Emperor’s New Yolks

About This Item

Pledge loyalty to Dear Leader and end the debate over grocery prices with these delicious eggs. Each carton comes with two dozen Grade AA eggs that are only visible to the truly patriotic. If you can’t see them, you’re just not loyal enough!

How To Use

The following instructions are for true patriots, members of the 47th Presidential administration’s comms team, and USDA inspectors only. Usage of this collateral by constituents, activists, or Americans who seek to protect Democracy and call out the farce of loyalty to a corrupt senior citizen hell bent on destroying American from within is strictly prohibited. Please do not use the following instructions or reach out to us for detailed assistance.

Creating Materials

• You’ll need three parts to make these egg cartons:
• Labels, which can be downloaded here and printed on 10″x2.625″ stickers via StickerRobot or StickerGiant.
• Egg cartons, available at EggCartonStore, MannLake, or EggCartons.com
• Eggs that are only visible to true patriots. To make these eggs, say the Pledge of Allegiance three times while squatting over your pillow like a chicken. Then, make a donation in any amount to Trump Crypto, put a wish under your pillow, and go to sleep. When you wake up, one egg will be placed under your pillow by a Bald Eagle (if you can’t see it, you aren’t loyal enough to The President, repeat previous steps). Repeat the process x12 for a dozen eggs.

Installing Materials

• If you are a Grocery distributor, put these in your store in the egg section.
• If you are a constituent, activist, or professional protestor, please stop reading this is not for you. Do not bring multiple materials in a reusable shopping bag or backpack. Do not affix labels at home ahead of time. Do not position New Yolk cartons in prominent areas of your grocery store’s egg section. Do not bring a friend to cause a distraction, pass the time, and help get more done efficiently.

Documenting Installation

• After you install the materials make sure to send us your documentation.